ADHA: Licensed to Torture


My loot I made off with at the dentist.

The ADHA: American Dental Hygienist Association.  Members of this group are Dental Hygienists.  Lovely people who manage to stick both of their hands in peoples mouths.  Professionals who care about their patients and their dental health.  Torturers.

I’ve never had a problem with the dentist.  As a matter of fact, I look forward to running my tongue over my super clean pearly whites.  I always laughed at the screams my DAd made when he made his visits – he made going to the dentist even more interesting.  Those were the days.

I happen to love my current dentist and her team; they are not only friendly and helpful but hilarious.  Pam, my Dental Hygienist, is perky and tells the best stories about losing golf balls, winning tennis matches and her magic closet that seems to shrink clothes.  I like her a lot.  But she murdered my gums yesterday.  Boo Pam, boo.

Not that anyone cares, but my gums are a bit tender on the left.  Pam recommended “gum therapy” by tying a knot in my floss before running it between my molars.  I watched her hands take a doubled string of floss and make knot then proceed to drop into my mouth.  Holy wonka bars, Batman! If Pam were in front of me, I would have socked her in the face.  Her eyes met mine and she said, “Hurt, didn’t it?  See this blood?”  See it?!?  Lady, I taste it!  What the eff did you do that for?!?!

My gums are still sensitive today but she made her point.  I get it.  I need to floss more on the left.  Or Pam will put on her torturer pants and stick a shiv in my gums come six months.  Two can play this game – and I will be victorious.

I do think that Pam felt somewhat guilty for the pain she caused me because I made out like a bandit with dental loot.  A fun toothbrush, three different kinds of toothpaste, new “stretchy” floss and some mouthwash stuff.  I felt like a kid in a candy store walking out with my little plastic baggie overflowing with goodies.  I just keep telling myself she doesn’t make baggies like this for everyone.  Just the patients she makes bleed.


~ by shutterboo on May 25, 2010.

7 Responses to “ADHA: Licensed to Torture”

  1. Ouch! I’ve found that a once-a-day brushing with table salt mixed with baking soda toughens up your gums so they don’t bleed like that. Might give it a try!

  2. FYI that biotene stuff is awesome. Pregnancy makes you all congested so I compensate by breathing through my mouth while sleeping. Breathing = good, but also makes your gums dry so they bleed (pink in the sink? no more like “where is the missing tooth because my sink is red?”). The dentist gave me some samples and I’m in love. Now more insane bleeding in the sink.

  3. i freaking adore my dental hygienist! she is just about the cutest thing ever. and she’s nice. and she doesn’t cause me great pain. and i love her for that.

  4. OMG, You are so brave! I am terrified of the dentist – especially since last week when I went get a deep cleaning – she had to literally give me almost 11 shots of anesthesia because I still felt the pain. 😦 Scary isn’t it?

  5. I’ve never had a problem with the dentist, either. I got good tooths so never had a traumatic experience. I don’t dig crunching on that toothpaste they use all day long, though.
    I have a friend who needs nitrous and valium just to get a cleaning. Kinda feel like I’m missing out on some free drugs by not freaking out at the dentist. I mean, shouldn’t I at least get some to take home?

    • Your poor friend. Not only does he/she have to get bamboozled with gas and pills but probably carries home a hefty bill. I’ve learned that when it comes to doctors, be it MDs or DDSs, they unfortunately charge for everything.

      • I’m not certain about the pills, but the gas is free! They include it with the price of the cleaning which is covered in full under our insurance. I’m getting left out, I tell ya!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: