ADHA: Licensed to Torture
My loot I made off with at the dentist.
The ADHA: American Dental Hygienist Association. Members of this group are Dental Hygienists. Lovely people who manage to stick both of their hands in peoples mouths. Professionals who care about their patients and their dental health. Torturers.
I’ve never had a problem with the dentist. As a matter of fact, I look forward to running my tongue over my super clean pearly whites. I always laughed at the screams my DAd made when he made his visits – he made going to the dentist even more interesting. Those were the days.
I happen to love my current dentist and her team; they are not only friendly and helpful but hilarious. Pam, my Dental Hygienist, is perky and tells the best stories about losing golf balls, winning tennis matches and her magic closet that seems to shrink clothes. I like her a lot. But she murdered my gums yesterday. Boo Pam, boo.
Not that anyone cares, but my gums are a bit tender on the left. Pam recommended “gum therapy” by tying a knot in my floss before running it between my molars. I watched her hands take a doubled string of floss and make knot then proceed to drop into my mouth. Holy wonka bars, Batman! If Pam were in front of me, I would have socked her in the face. Her eyes met mine and she said, “Hurt, didn’t it? See this blood?” See it?!? Lady, I taste it! What the eff did you do that for?!?!
My gums are still sensitive today but she made her point. I get it. I need to floss more on the left. Or Pam will put on her torturer pants and stick a shiv in my gums come six months. Two can play this game – and I will be victorious.
I do think that Pam felt somewhat guilty for the pain she caused me because I made out like a bandit with dental loot. A fun toothbrush, three different kinds of toothpaste, new “stretchy” floss and some mouthwash stuff. I felt like a kid in a candy store walking out with my little plastic baggie overflowing with goodies. I just keep telling myself she doesn’t make baggies like this for everyone. Just the patients she makes bleed.