What Is This ‘Allergies’ You Speak Of?
OK, so I don’t know about you, but with all the sniffling I’ve been doing the past week, I feel like my nose is going to be sucked in and my face will collapse on itself. And with all the coughing I’ve been doing, I’m fairly certain a tonsil will work itself loose and make a break for it. The rest of me feels fine, honky-dory, fit as a fiddle. But my head… my head hates me.
The thing is I don’t have allergies. Well, I’ve never had allergies before. My immune system was put through the ringer as a wee babe growing up in the Ohio Valley and all that outside stuff that people complain about never sent me in a tizzy. I used to laugh in the face of allergies. I think the winds might have changed though. Boo.
I’ve been talking to anyone who will listen, trying to get a handle on my current condition. Because I don’t have allergies, I don’t know what it feels like to have allergies. I honk away with how I feel like my head is hot air balloon and PodMate diagnoses me: allergies. I type my conditions with disgusting definition to Internet Katie and she tells me to suck it up (her words, not mine) and go to the store because the diagnosis is: allergies.
DAd says the tree pollen count is through the roof this year, it could be: allergies. I drew pictures in the pollen on our patio table and it looked at me with a smile and laughed: allergies. The Today Show confirmed DAd’s previous statement (even though Louisville is only orange and not red…WE LIVE IN A VALLEY, IT DOESN’T GO AWAY) and that people across the country are suffering from [you guessed it]: allergies. But I don’t have allergies.
I told myself if I’m still honking away and coughing up a lung by next Tuesday, I’m going to the doctor. But if I had to self-diagnose, I’d say I’m fighting a new thing called allergies. Well, that or certain death. Or is there a difference?
** UPDATE: Zyrtec was made by the gods. And that’s all she wrote. **